Ron Dog, You Ain't That Dumb Dog

Before we get to anything of substance, I am compelled to clear up one matter. The statement by Max that he surpassed (or even came close to) my level of academic success is just downright false. Obviously Max is still bitter about the fact that when his teachers went over to him, squeezed his pudgy little cheeks, and asked him "what's wrong?" they inevitably followed up the question with, "why can't you be like your brother?" Since he managed to leave this little tidbit out of his post, I'm guessing it still haunts him and rightfully so. Anyway, that's neither here nor there, let's get down to the real discussion.

I went back and forth about how to respond to Max's post. My first instinct was to pull out the same stats Gary Becker bitch slapped Paul Krugman with earlier this year when he decided to write about the diminishing economic rewards of higher education in the Times (I'm guessing Krugman was inspired to write such an article after seeing Max reading poetry and peddling for change on a New York City street corner). But after thinking about it I decided, against my better judgment perhaps, to throw out the numbers. Stats are stats. Obviously you don't need me to tell you that a Harvard degree is worth more than a degree from University of Phoenix (conveniently formatted for at home printing). This is not important, nor is it what I think Max is getting at. Sure an education gets you...something. Right? Is it really possible that a bunch of 18 years olds are convincing their parents to piss away large sums of money so that they can drink cheap beer, smoke sub-par marijuana and have sex without sneaking out of the house at midnight? Well yes and no. And I think that's exactly what Max is getting at. The bottom line is that some institutions are going to get you nothing more than what I just mentioned at a cost of around 300K to your parents (so stop bitching them out when they buy you a Ford instead of a BMW).

There's no doubt that a college degree gets you somewhere, moves you up a notch in the world and gets you a little closer to...umm...to what? The American dream? I don't think so. Isn't the American dream about immigrants fleeing persecution, landing in Brooklyn and running a successful Deli for 30 years? Maybe not. Anyway, rather than opening up a world or wonderful possibilities, a degree seems to slot you into a specific type of life. No, I didn't say career...I said life. A degree is like a ticket that gets you into a not-so-exclusive club. You have to have it to enter but when you get in you think: "shit, there are a lot of people here, why did I come in the first place?" Well because you don't want to be the one standing outside. To get anywhere you need to have that piece of paper though it's less and less impressive to just have a college degree. Now it matters where you went and what you did. So what's the club look like inside? What's the life that a degree gets you?

Let me break the suspense...it's bland. But at least there are iPads and nice furniture for sale. At least you get a once a year trip to Club Med or Orlando and that's better than the people who don't have a ticket right? Maybe it is.

Here's the thing, the stats say an education gets you money, makes you more marketable. Essentially a degree approves you for a middle to upper middle class life. I don't even think Max will dispute that an education does get you...some...things. The question is whether or not these are the "right" things. From an economic standpoint it doesn't matter. More people with degrees means more people with higher salaries who buy lots of useless shit and pump money into the economy. Fuck yeah! So what's sad about all this? The sad thing is that education is becoming a means to an end rather than an enriching, life changing experience. It's sad that most people will forget what they learned after a few years and instead pack their brains with Lady Ga Ga lyrics and the latest happenings on Jersey Shore. Nowadays an education, in essence, allows you to stop thinking.

I mean let's face it, how many people are still pondering what Marx, Hobbes and Locke said about political economy four years after graduating? I suspect it's close to none. So what, you ask, the wheels of the economy keep turning right? Why should we care? Well, think about that stupid Jersey Shore show you love so much. It's funny because it's a bunch of mindless meat heads and valley girls parading around doing stupid things that we most likely wouldn't do - that's what makes it entertaining. But without the desire to continue educating ourselves, to continue learning about challenging subjects and important social and political issues, we'll eventually devolve into a Jersey Shore society...mindless...and no longer entertaining. Hell Orange County is already half-way there.

Here's what you need to know - despite what the grads at Ohio St tell you, college does provide some pretty unique educational opportunities beyond learning how to get shit faced without puking or experimenting with mild psychedelics. There should be a reason we want to go to good schools and that reason is to learn, to expand the boundaries of our cultural and social mindsets. Education should not be a means to an end and if you think it should then let me enlighten you about what you'll end up using that money for: 50% for divorce, 10% for therapy, 10% on alcohol/cigarettes (drugs if you're a banker/consultant) and the other 30% is to pay the government to do god knows what because you stopped learning about what the function of the government actually is. Essentially ask yourself if you want to become Rush Limbaugh.

If the answer is no then stop reading shit like "Eat, Pray, Love" or Sarah Palin's biography. Step one: understand the role you should be playing in society by reading the "Social Contract."

And yes, you can download it on your Kindle and read it on your way to your weekly "So You Think You Can Dance" viewing at your friend's house.

Enjoy!